Tuesday, April 15, 2008

This guy is the bane of my existence. His name is Eddie Redmayne, and he sucks. He was cast as the demon offspring of Angelina Jolie and Matt Damon in the Good Shepherd. See the resemblance? Exactly. Apparently the casting session involved lining up ten thousand people and picking the kid with the biggest lips. I know I’m beating a dead horse, but honestly, what’s the over/under on how many kids Matt Damon and Jolie would have to have before one looked like this? Watch the Good Shepherd, and you can sense the disappointment in all the actors when they’re filming. In the backs of their minds they’re all thinking, “Nobody is going to have anything good to say about this movie after seeing this stupid kid.” I’m not so shallow that I would write about him just to make fun of his sallow pigmentation, his girlishly narrow sloping shoulders, engorged lips, and feminine tendencies. Let’s review his highlights in the movie. He peed his pants while sitting on Santa’s lap, he showed off to his dad that he learned how to smoke cigarettes in college, and he pretty much was the leak in the Bay of Pigs invasion after he eavesdropped on his dad’s conversation. Natty would also like to add that there is a scene where he is taking a bath, which was just embarrassing in itself. Now, after looking up his filmography, I’ve learned that he’s in the Other Boleyn Girl. Which means he’s taken a movie with the exquisite Natalie Portman and the voluptuous Scarlett Johansen, and made it so much less than it probably would have been otherwise. In his defense, it takes a whale of a performance, good or bad, to eclipse Damon, Jolie, De Niro, Pesci, Baldwin, etc.

That’s pretty much all that I have going on. I don’t know if you all are aware, but Candace Parker led the Lady Vols to their 83rd National Championship. You might hear a lot of people say that Parker played with a separated shoulder, and not a lot of players, man or woman, would have played through such an injury. My take is that even fewer would have the audacity to wear a long-sleeve t-shirt in the Final Four.

Kevin Love continues to impress, and I recently read that he honed his behemoth strength by doing push-ups on his fingertips when he was in high school. Finger tip push-ups, that sounds pretty impressive, right? Well it is. Go ahead, get on the floor and see how many fingertip pushups you can do, I’ll wait. Now think if you were a big ole meaty hoss cat like Mr. Love. That's a lot of Love that those fingertips are moving. That’s pretty impressive, huh? Slow-footed or not, that guy is strong as an ox and has an unbelievable basketball IQ. I’m just looking forward to seeing which team is going to take Deandre Jordan ahead of Love.

I’m excited that Rose and Beasley have both officially declared for the NBA Draft. This is going to be a pretty good debate about which guy to take. Remember back in 94 when the Bucks had a similar debate and went with Big Dog over Jason Kidd? Me either, I had to look it up, but I think other people are going to tell you that it’s a similar situation. Well if this is so much like the 1994 Draft, then which Heisman Trophy winner is going to be taken with the 26th pick? I guess history doesn't really repeat itself. But I digress. I’m hoping the Grizzlies get the top pick and take Rose, so he can complement Crittenton, Lowry, and Mike Conley Jr, in Tennessee's legion of point guards. I won’t make any promises to you people, but I’m hoping to have a more substantive piece covering the NFL Draft soon, in the mean time, avoid Eddie Redmayne and the parade of horribles that he brings with him.


Blogger Thelonius Monk said...

I'm in agreement with this entire post. I remember watching that movie with Ben and Tyler, eating at Hacienda afterwards, and not being able to even talk about the substance of the movie because of that weird freak. I really don't like that guy at all.

Why couldn't Candace Parker just wear a short sleeve shirt because those also cover the shoulder? Or if it must be long sleeve why not an under armour long sleeve?

I didn't know about Kevin Love's fingertip pushups. That's impressive. I've tried to do them and I can't. If I start on the ground I can't even get myself up. If i start already lifted up I can let myself down a little and do maybe one and a half. It's ridiculously hard. If Big Baby can play for the Celtics. Kevin Love can start for most NBA teams.

April 17, 2008 at 12:20 PM  

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