Tuesday, November 06, 2007

UK Basketball: An Era Anew

It's been a long layoff, I know that. But with the beginning of basketball season and a new era in UK Basketball, that will undoubtedly lead to more championships, it is time AwesomeUSA got back in business. We all had busy summers with a good friend getting married and, of course, the preceding bachelor party. TIMMY! In lieu of giving you a detailed story of what has happened since our last post, I will simply update you on what our writing staff is currently up to. Runs with Two Horses would still rather eat cat litter than look at Greg Paulus, and I'm sure is building the same feelings for Kyle Singler. Natty and Leonard graduated from law school and have moved on to prestigious legal jobs, though I imagine they still spend a lot of time compiling lists of their favorite jerseys and college players. As for me, well, despite my complaints last year, I am in my second year of law school and mine grammar have not gotten better. Yes, we do all still pee sitting down.

I hope we didn't lose any of you over this six month hiatus. I hope you all still checked the blog every day hoping for a new post. I hope you all got excited when Runs posted our picture of Tim Legler (whom we met during the bachelor party weekend) only to be let down when we didn't continue posts. I just hope we haven't lost you, because we want you back. We broke your heart. Cat Stevens was right - the first cut is the deepest. But let's just try to forget about all that now. We got your letters. We got your drunken phone calls. We heard the rumors you spread about us all over campus. We'll be honest, it kind of threw salt in our game when we were at parties. But all is forgiven on our side. We hope you can do the same. We can just start out as friends with benefits to gain your trust again. We won't make it official or anything. Just a movie, a little toungue kissing and that's it. Then we can see what happens. To start off here is a quick preview of some college players to keep your eye on.

Names You've Heard:
Psycho T
Darren Collison
Chris Lofton
Chris Douglas-Roberts (the man with three first names)
Brandon Rush

Names You've Heard (Freshman Edition):
OJ Mayo
Patrick Patterson
Derrick Rose (favorite TV show is "Still Standing")
Kevin Love
Eric Gordon
Bill Walker (hybrid, redshirt)
Nick Calethas

Names You Haven't Heard, But Will:
Tyler Smith
Stephen Curry
Darrel Arhur
Earl Clark
Jodie Meeks

Still Hated:
Greg Paulus
Gerald Henderson
Jon Scheyer
Martynas Pocius
Brian Zoubek
DeMarcus Nelson

All Americans:
Tywon Lawson
Chris Lofton
Brandon Rush
Psycho T
Roy Hibbert

Names You'll Here, But Shouldn't Have:
Mark Coury Flurry
Edgar Sosa
Josh Heytvelt
Dan Werner

Kentucky opens their season against Central Arkansas in less than an hour and I've got some preparing to do before I realize Kentucky isn't going to be as good as I think they will be.


Blogger Jesus' Son said...

AwesomeUSA writing staff,

On behalf of the reader and fan base, I'd like to say you hurt us. I think I speak on behalf of both of us when I say we were very disappointed to return day after day to no new postings. However, we can be won back over, but not with this lackluster writing performance by TMonk with 2cent and preejaculated words. Sadly, during this period we have had a chance to explore the blogworld, play the field, and gain experience with skanks and street children. I don't know if either of us want to return after our experienceing such bliss.

November 7, 2007 at 3:09 PM  
Blogger Codename Curveball said...

Go Louisville Cards.

November 7, 2007 at 3:49 PM  
Blogger Codename Curveball said...

And you're not Jesus' Son. He lived on my dorm floor freshman year, and he always hyphenated pre-ejaculated.

November 7, 2007 at 10:03 PM  
Blogger Runs With Two Horses said...

I don't know what a Gardner Web is, but it just kicked the Big Blue Nation in its collective nut sack. T-Monk, I was excited about resuscitating AwesomeUSA!, but UK bball was doing a lot better before we tried to make a comeback. Now I'm really worried about UK's game against Vandy.

November 8, 2007 at 9:19 AM  
Blogger Runs With Two Horses said...

Disregard that last post, did you guys know that UK hit 18 out of 20 free throws?! That's outstanding! Gillispie said they never even practice free throws. I think they should quit practicing lay-ups, transition defense, and denying backdoor cuts too.

November 8, 2007 at 9:29 AM  

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