Valentine's Day Ideas Not Approved By My Hypothetical Girlfriend
1. watching Boston College play Duke, drinking beer, eating chips.
2. renting "The Departed", drinking beer, eating chips.
3. sex, then sleep.
4. dinner at a fancy place downtown, dancing to jazz at a local club, walk in the park, but not buying flowers.
5. attending a party thrown by friends, falling down drunk, vomiting out of car window.
6. watching "Dog the Bounty Hunter", falling asleep
The Valentine's Day Idea Approved By My Hypothetical Girlfriend
1. flowers, asking "Will You Be My Valentine", walking to an italian bistro and spending 100 dollars, holding hands all day, watching "Music and Lyrics", discussing how Drew Barrymore "isn't really that cute" for 30 minutes followed by "you are much prettier than her", cuddling and talking, cuddling and staring into each other in silence, denial of sex, sleep, sneeking out of the room to write a blog.
2. renting "The Departed", drinking beer, eating chips.
3. sex, then sleep.
4. dinner at a fancy place downtown, dancing to jazz at a local club, walk in the park, but not buying flowers.
5. attending a party thrown by friends, falling down drunk, vomiting out of car window.
6. watching "Dog the Bounty Hunter", falling asleep
The Valentine's Day Idea Approved By My Hypothetical Girlfriend
1. flowers, asking "Will You Be My Valentine", walking to an italian bistro and spending 100 dollars, holding hands all day, watching "Music and Lyrics", discussing how Drew Barrymore "isn't really that cute" for 30 minutes followed by "you are much prettier than her", cuddling and talking, cuddling and staring into each other in silence, denial of sex, sleep, sneeking out of the room to write a blog.
posted by HAL 9000 at 11:05 PM
2 Comments:
Costanza, is that you?
Here's one of my personal favorites from back when I had a love life:
Attending class all day, bringing flowers to a crying girlfriend because you were both in class all day not spending time together, apologizing profusely for the egregious mistake of actually attending class, thinking you can just go to a restaurant and eat, being laughed out the door of multiple restaurants because even burger king requires reservations on Valentine's day, finally eating at a mall food court just before closing time, returning to a too small dorm room bed to not have sex, apologizing again for not spending enough time together on Valentine's day, going to sleep on my side, which I hate, because the goddamn dorm room beds are too small.
God, how I miss having someone to share Valentine's day with. Although, I must admit Thelonius, that getting my swoll on and then sharing a protein shake with you while watching Duke basketball was pretty special.
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