A Message from Joakim Noah to the Inhabitants of Kentucky
Greetings. This Saturday my Florida Gators play your Kentucky Wildcats in a game of basketball at Rupp Arena. I realize that many of you do not like me. I have been visiting some of your message boards and discussion forums on the internet. Apparently, you find me unattractive, question my sexuality, and think I am an idiot. Well, that's fine. I do not hate any of you. I understand that Kentuckians are rabid fans, as dedicated to your Cats as Floridians are to their Gators. As an elite college athlete, I should get used to your criticisms and mockery. Hey, I understand that I'm kind of an easy target. Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that I have nothing but respect for your basketball team and for your beautiful state. Unfortunately, I will be required to dunk on your players' faces repeatedly. I may even send one of Joe Crawford's ill-advised jumpers into the fifth row of the eRUPPtion zone. I'll see you all then. Take care.
P.S. Will Lukasz Obrzut be inbounding the ball? Just joking. I'm not trying to be a jerk. I just couldn't help myself.