Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Man in the Middle (A Jerry Sloan/Karl Malone Sandwich)

Bored yesterday, I read an excerpt from John Amaechi's new book "The Man in the Middle," and found it quite interesting. Though instead of an overwhelming sense of sympathy for gay athletes, I found myself just being really really scared of Jerry Sloan. If you are a gay athlete, especially a basketball player, Utah might be the last fucking place you ever want to be. Karl Malone used to use "Queer Eye for the Strait Guy" fatheads as target practice ... in the locker room ... with shotguns ... and a cowboy hat. Mistakenly, I thought most of the hatred would have retired with Karl Malone. An excerpt from Amaechi's book:

"When I brought up the ways the system didn't work for me, Jerry looked like he wanted to shoot holes right through my heart. During one home game, I got slapped with a three-second violation. 'Stupid f---ing c--t!' he screamed at me."

Based on his excert, Amaechi's book will do less to explain the psychological struggle of being a closet homosexual in the NBA, and more to making grown men piss their pants when they watch Jazz games. Another excerpt:

"Jerry raged against players who he thought didn't play hard enough. If we lost two or three in a row, he'd stride into practice yelling, 'You f---ing a-- holes are trying to get me fired!'"

This all said, I really enjoyed the small portion of Amaechi's book that I was able to read. Besides giving me nightmares about Jerry Sloan, it looks as though this book will explore the secret life Amaechi was forced to live during his playing days in Utah. I do, however, have a hard time believing Amaechi when he says he felt Greg Ostertag would have been sympathetic toward his lifestyle. (At one point in the tunnel before a game, Ostertag said to Amaechi, "You gay, dude?") When I look at Greg Ostertag I think of Bryant Reeves. When I think of Bryant Reeves I think of Big Country. When I think of Big Country I think of my hometown. The excerpt did make me like AK-47 a lot more. (He sent Amaechi an invitation to a party and told him it was fine to bring any partner he wanted). Amaechi and AK-47's relationship shows just how secret Amaechi had to be while in Utah. He was confined to his home and was unable to visit the gay bars he liked in Orlando and LA. (A testament to how little he got out, because there are no gay bars in Utah).

I would defintely recommend reading the excerpt from "Man in the Middle" found on I would probably even enjoy reading the entire book if I had the time. But then again, (in case Sloan is an AwesomeUSA fan) it's most likely filled with a bunch of icky, sin-filled, gay speak.


Blogger El Fuser said...

Whenever I read something from Monk... I feel like is all icky gay speak, even though he never actually comes out with it. This blog is no different. Maybe its the photo, but I feel like Monk is a little too defensive so the question must be raised.... Is Monk keeping something in the AwesomeUSA! closet?

February 14, 2007 at 2:13 PM  
Blogger Jumping Bull said...

Nice excert on's excerpt on Mr. Amaechi's excerpt from "The Man in the Middle." I'm glad to see that Greg Ostertag has taken the Clay Wilkey approach to subtly finding out someone's sexual orientation.

February 14, 2007 at 2:17 PM  
Blogger Thelonius Monk said...

jerry sloan scared us all back into the closet.

February 14, 2007 at 2:27 PM  
Blogger Natty Bumpo said...

Hey, El Fuser, didn't you promise not to read Awesome USA! ever again a few comments back? I think that was the comment sandwiched between 2 of your narrow-minded homophobic comments, which pretty much made me ill. Does T. Monk have something in the closet? Who cares? Go watch some Fox News, and keep protecting the sanctity of marriage between a man and a woman, you stupid redneck.

February 14, 2007 at 3:01 PM  
Blogger Codename Curveball said...

Well put, Mr. Bumpo. Hopefully Mr. Fuser will slink back to Westboro Baptist Church and keep his bigotry amongst those who foster it.

February 14, 2007 at 4:17 PM  
Blogger Runs With Two Horses said...

I knew Natty would be a little pissed after he read an article that sort of made fun of Jerry Sloan. I think this was a wrong place wrong time deal for Fuser.

Have you guys seen any of the interview with Big John on ESPN? It looks almost like they asked Amaechi to do something kind of gay for the camera, so people would know that he really was gay. The clip I kept seeing was Amaechi standing on his balcony, wistfully looking over the cityscape while drinking a glass of wine. All they needed was a warm embrace with a handsome stranger to seal the deal.

February 14, 2007 at 5:25 PM  
Blogger Jesus' Son said...

I think El Fuser and Tim Hardway I have something in common.

February 14, 2007 at 10:32 PM  
Blogger the butler said...

I remember when I was in college, acquiring my currently dormant Psycho(logy) degree, and this one gay student did a thesis in which he used the word "homoprejudice" in an attempt to compensate for the lack of demonization associated with the previously popular "homophobic".

The word "homophobic" was invented in 1969 by the most likely gay shrink, George Weinberg. I think the funniest part is that the Latin connotation would suggest that it means "fear of men" instead of "fear of homos".

February 15, 2007 at 6:15 PM  

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