Pipe Dreams Dad, I'm a Barber's Son

It's finally over. Well, not really over, but my first law school final is out of the way. This leaves only three more grueling, self-depracating tests left before Christmas Break. As many of the law students celebrated today and are eagerly awaiting next Thursday, when they finally can say they are done, I've come to one conclusion: These are pipe dreams Dad, I'm a barber's son.

Our Torts final this morning was a three hour exam that should have started at 9am. Rather, it started at 9:30 due to the insanely retarded questions everyone had to ask. These questions were so unbelievably retarded that I can't even explain them in words, but trust me. If these questions went to my highschool they would have spent most their day chucking basketballs at the ceiling of the gym and lighting themselves on fire.

The Torts final was a bruiser. A 3rd down running back. Not flashy, won't win you style points. It doesn't have the Heisman highlight clip or make the ESPN top ten. It beats you up for three hours and at the end you just let it run you over. That's the only way I can explain it right now. I have a headache, a toothache, an earache and blood streaming from my eyes. In other words, law school finals are the equivolent of a handjob from Jumping Bull. So the contest seems sort of meaningless to me right now.

But at least I'm not Tony Romo. That guy has it rough. Signed by the Dallas Cowboys as an undrafted free agent from a jackass university then move into the starting spot where you go 5-1 and start dating Jessica Simpson. Wow, this guy leads a pretty shitty life. He even has Michael Irvin alleging that Romo's ancestors must have mated with African-Americans for him to be this athletic. From everything I understand this is the greatest compliment to a third generation Mexican-American.

In fact, thinking about Tony Romo makes me want to stick it out in law school. Some people just aren't as lucky as others. I get to spend hours in a cramped law library and he has to throw touchdown passes, pass for a black guy, and have sex with Jessica Simpson. I feel for ya, Romo. I can only hope that somehow someway Antonio Romo will get to experience law school in the next life, because he's really missing out. Poor Antonio, having to listen to Jessica Simpson occasionally speak in between hours and hours of sex.