Sunday, January 14, 2007

My All-NBA Live Team (If Gilbert Arenas Was Unable to Be Cloned)






I have always taken pride in the NBA Live teams that I have been able to draft for previous seasons. Most importantly, once I choose a team to represent, I must choose players that will look the best in those uniforms. The ideal NBA Live team is one that can shoot from the 1 through the 5 spots but are tall enough to block shots around the basket with ease. I try to compromise my team to fit this prototype making sacrifices when their needs to be. They are young and quick. They are usually the Boston Celtics, the LA Clippers, the New Jersey Nets, or the New York Knicks. There are also no white people. Gilbert Arenas is left off of this team (although he is my favorite player) only because I would take every shot with him use the entire season to pad his stats. If he were able to be cloned I would play him at the 1 through 5 positions. I am assuming he cannot be cloned.

Allen Iverson – I play Allen at the point. I hardly ever shoot outside jumpers with him. He is used to penetrate in the half court offense with by setting a high screen. I leave his number as 3 and usually try to cut his hair into the short fade, but there is yet an NBA Live to allow me to do this. Allen averages a triple double in the second season because it is still on rookie level and he gets 10 steals a game in a full court press designed to run the score up on lesser opponents. After much ragging from friends I bump it up to starter and then eventually all-star levels and his numbers decline.

J.R. Smith – I really hate admitting that he is my starting two guard because of the brawl against the Knicks. Nate Robinson is one of my favorite players in the NBA and would have been a bench player for this team if not for the altercation. I just couldn’t handle that possible disaster. Chemistry is much more important. I take him out of the number 1 and make him wear 21. He’s not happy with it at first, but playing in my system of basketball allows him to average 15 a game and he adjusts to the new number. He desperately tries to join Allen and Josh’s rap group (mentioned later) but is never accepted. He begins sleeping with Ivana Trump (Donald is part owner of the team) at my request and I eventually use it as a way to railroad him. We trade him in his fourth year for a younger player who can dunk very well.

Josh Smith – He plays the 2 through the 4, but primarily the three. He only dunks and blocks shots. He wins the dunk contest two years in a row and with Allen and J.R. gives our team extraordinary street cred. He also forms a rap group with Allen to rejuvenate Allen’s rap career. Allen and Josh play their own music simultaneously on separate Ipods throughout the locker room, but can never manage to get them completely in sync. He is not allowed to wear his headband and I long consider putting goggles on him but ultimately decide against it.

Dwight Howard – He’s a monster on NBA Live. You can literally run him towards the rim and throw an alley-oop and it’s two points. He is also a great guy in the locker room. He’s quiet but already a stern leader who encourages others through his play on the court and work ethic off of it. Iverson defers to Dwight in many situations. He wears 12, which was an old soccer number of mine. We feel like kindred spirits and I treat him as the 7 foot 240 pound black son I never had.

Ansu Harrington – This guy really doesn’t exist but I drafted him one year I had the Knicks and he was an absolute beast inside. He averaged 4 offensive rebounds a game and 11 rebounds total. Not a great shooter, but can knock down a 6 foot jumper on a consistent basis. He wears the number 11 which compliments Dwight Howards’s number 12. He looks similar to Djimon Hounsou and does wear goggles with a headband ala Rip Hamilton. He has the most character on the team and is often offended by Allen and Josh’s rap lyrics.

4 Comments:

Blogger Leonard Peltier said...

Thelonious,
As you well know, our prototypes for NBA Live Teams are quite similar (see my ATL Hawks team from Live 04). This afternoon, myself, natty and JB conducted a fantasy draft. Usually, I'm with you on the no-white-guys rule, but I made an exception for Mr. Hinrich. I call my Bulls the Phoenix Suns v.2.0, and the lineup is as follows: C-Jermaine O'Neal, F-Chuck Hayes, F-Ricky Davis, G-T-Mac, G-Kirk Hinrich. I also broke the no-white-guys rule to bring Runs' favorite Gator David Lee off the bench, and he's a MEAST. How does my team look on the court? Just ask JB. Bulls 83, T-Wolves (not JB's fantasy team) 32. Kirk Hinrich 20pts, 19assists.

January 14, 2007 at 5:40 PM  
Blogger Natty Bumpo said...

Ansu Harrington sounds a lot like JT Eatbaby.

January 15, 2007 at 3:41 AM  
Blogger Runs With Two Horses said...

I've cut my ties from NBA Live ever since it made the erroneous decision that Baron Davis won't be the future of the NBA. I miss the days of Baron's Teen Wolfesque domination of the NBA.

January 15, 2007 at 12:08 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I too have ended my career in NBA Live. But for old time's sake, let me just put together a few names that would have likely comprised my roster. The Golden State Warriors would likely be my team, simply because of throw-backs to "the City" and because of how extremely ugly the new uni's are. My PG- Probably Mike Bibby, SG- Rashad McCants SF- Richard Jefferson PF- P.J. Brown C-Andrew Bogut. Coming off the bench would have probably been some foreign no name, Jamal Maglore, a player from the trailblazers, and Darrell Armstrong (and without looking Natty, tell me where Darrell went to school).

January 15, 2007 at 2:04 PM  

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