Thursday, December 28, 2006

Wow, Natty Bumpo Really Does Love Djimon Hounsou

While I sat to Natty's right throughout the movie "Blood Diamon" I realized one thing - Natty really does love Djimon Hounsou.

Naturally, when Natty called and suggested we see the movie with our friend Leonard Peltier, I thought to myself that he of course wanted to see the latest Hounsou movie. I was right. As Djimon ran through the Sierra Leone wilderness with his shirt off, I looked over to see Natty smiling like a young school girl watching her first crush. If Natty were my sister, Djimon would be Justin Timerlake during the N'sync days (the Britney Spears v-card taking Justin). I was also amazed at Djimon throughout the entire movie, but found myself completely distracted by Jennifer Connolly. Jennifer Connolly is an AwesomeUSA favorite, her husband is most definitaly not. AwesomeUSA would like to offer $200 dollars for his head.

Leonardo Dicaprio and Djimon Hounsou but heads continually throughout the movie and in one scene get into an all-out brawl. The scene ends with Leonardo prevailing and threatening to blow Djimon's "fucking head off". Yes, an unlikely outcome in real life, but we all suck it up for the sake of the plot (where Leo plays a South African diamond smuggler who was once a member of the South African army). Natty's response, however: "That's bullshit. That would never happen in real life."

I always knew Natty Bumpo loved Djimon Hounsou and he has had no problem sharing his love with all of us, but I'll tell you this - I'm never watching Four Feathers with Natty, that's for sure.

We all have loves that drive away logic and cause us to act irrationally. I, Thelonious, have a hard time watching boxing video games where Muhammad Ali gets beat. I get upset when I look on the back of a boxing video game cover and there is a picture of a digital Ali getting punched. Runs with Two Horses once stormed out of a family christmas party when a distant cousin walked in with a Duke jersey on. He later forcibly threw up on the jersey and burned it while he laughed over the flames. Leonard Peltier still thinks Michael Jordan could make the White Sox. He even started a petition to get Jordan a World Series ring, because Jordan would have been on the team if he hadn't returned to basketball.

We AwesomeUSA'ers are proud of our ridiculous loves and the extreme loyalty we have towards them. This blogger salutes Natty's love for Djimon and truly hopes they will end up together one day.


Blogger Natty Bumpo said...

Well played, Thelonius, well played indeed.

December 29, 2006 at 3:09 PM  

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