Tuesday, April 18, 2006


Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes have given birth to a baby humanoid. Apparently, Tom is going to eat the baby in a symbolic ritual of some sort. Then, he plans to set himself and Katie on fire in a variation on the classic Viking funeral. After this has taken place, William Shatner will fly over the carnage in the Millennium Falcon and defacate over the couples' spirit flames, as they exit their flesh prisons, through the aircraft's poop lounge deluxe. Following this, Andre the Giant and a unicorn with a human face will eat Shatner and the Millennium Falcon to prove that up is down and down is up. Finally, a starburst will envelope the universe, and everyone will be transformed into naked babies--the naked babies we used to be.


Blogger Jumping Bull said...

Leonard, I hope you seriously consider revoking Natty's posting privileges...

April 19, 2006 at 9:41 AM  
Blogger Runs With Two Horses said...

I'm as excited about the end of days as anyone, but when I retired to my nerdery and read this account, I couldn't help but wander how Shatner wrestled the Millenium Falcon (a.k.a. Vulcan) from the hands of Han Solo and the mighty Chewbacca (a.k.a. Bart Long). Furthermore, your naked baby prediction is just one more indication of your repressed Pedophilia. Yes, my friends, Horses sees much.

April 19, 2006 at 1:05 PM  
Blogger Cannonball Adderley said...

I just shit on myself.

April 20, 2006 at 3:04 PM  

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