Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Can Anyone Tell Me What Is Going On In Heroes?

I’ve never been a huge fan of network television. Besides a few shows that I will stop what I’m doing and watch – The Office, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Arrested Development, and Seinfeld – I rarely pay attention to anything else on television. But being in law school brings about changes in a man – some for the better and some for the worse. I end up watching a little more television later at night than I ever have before, mostly because I have spent the entire day reading, writing, and excessively masturbating. Watching television provides a nice break from all of that. There are a ton of new shows out this year, most of which don’t deserve a mention in this article, but a few have caught my attention such as 30 Rock and commercials for 30 Rock. But having to expand my television watching beyond Thursday nights, this week I decided to check out the Monday lineup, and was left with only one question: What the fuck is going on in Heroes?

Seriously, I watched the hour episode, which was supposedly wrapping up an episode before Christmas and was debuted as the premiere for 2007. I thought this was definitely a chance to get in on a new show that so many people were talking about. I was wrong. I didn’t have a fucking clue what was going on. Apparently there are people trying to destroy the world and people with special abilities. Then there are people with abilities who are trying to figure out why they have abilities, who else has abilities, and how to stop the people trying to destroy the world. There is an overweight Chinese kid who plays the most stereotypical Chinese kid ever. His english is more broken that Shortround and he is able to teleport through time, but he needs some sword to regain his powers.
There is a hot cheerleader who can’t be hurt. Two brothers who fly. A girl who has multiple personalities and can catch a nightstick then break it in two when swung at her. A guy who can hear thoughts. And a guy who can paint pictures of the future for heroes. There are so much going on and little displaying of abilities. If I were one of the X-Men I would go kick the shit out of these heroes. These heroes spend 45 minutes crying about their abilities and trying to find out the meaning of them, and 5 minutes displaying abilities. Wolverine doesn’t cry about his ability, he just kicks the shit out of people and saves the world. (This was the best picture of Wolverine I could find, not in costume, but you get the idea).
On another note, get some real abilities that can keep my interest for the five minutes they are shown in each episode. For instance, have a guy who can shoot lasers out of his nipples. Or a woman who gives deadly hand jobs. A law student whose super ability to not pay attention in class saves an a beautiful woman from an evil professor. Just give me something other than a Chinese kid who closes his eyes, squints and teleports to some other time period. This will be a useless power as soon as time travel technology is created. If anyone can clue me in on what the fuck is going on in Heroes, help me out.

Extra News
*Andy Roddick and Roger Federer are meeting in the Semifinals of the Australian Open. This is pretty much the only must see Tennis there is right now. I don’t compare much to Muhammad Ali, but this rivalry is similar to Ali v. Frazier. Roddick and Federer have completely opposite styles of Tennis. Federer has the all around dominant, graceful game, ala Ali. Roddick is a hard server and has a smashing forehand, ala Frazier. Roddick is playing some of his best tennis right now and Federer is always on the top of his game. This has the potential to be the greatest match between the two, and there have already been some instant classics. Wait until it is broadcast in the United States before you check ESPN to see the outcome. It will be a great show.

*Louisville routed UCONN last night on ESPN. I told a friend of mine to bet on UCONN a three-point underdog and he ended up losing a lot of money. At least it wasn’t my money. I really can’t believe Louisville won this game considering midway through the first half they were shooting 11 percent from the field. Not that Connecticut is a good team this year, but, as much as I hate to say it, Louisville can still beat good teams with their style of play.

*Carmelo and A.I. played together last night for the first time since Iverson’s trade. They looked phenomenal. This team will be extremely dangerous as long as J.R. Smith doesn’t jack up 14 threes a game. A.I. deferred to Carmelo and both appear to compliment each other’s games. I am really excited about seeing these two play together all season.

*Finally, Bruce Pearl showed up at the University of Tennessee’s Women’s basketball game last with a large V painted on his chest. Sometimes I fucking love Bruce Pearl and this is one of those times. I am really scared what will happen if he moves to a traditional powerhouse school like a Kansas. He is pulling recruits to Tennessee based on his personality and style of play. He could be really dangerous at a school that can also recruit kids based on facilities, national recognition, and tradition. I would really love to have him as Kentucky’s next coach, more so than Billy Donovan.


Blogger yudili1981 said...

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January 23, 2007 at 4:04 PM  
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January 23, 2007 at 5:20 PM  
Blogger Golden Balls said...

Warning, this is a comment long enough to be a mini-post:

I too have been really excited about the current state of mens tennis and this AUS Open in particular. On that subject, I find sporting events more interesting when you have to stay up at weird times to see them. Thoughts?

Concerning my beloved CARDS, I was pumped about their win last night, but it still felt a little empty. How does a team shoot 31% and beat UConn? Free throws, apparently, but I wasn't actually looking for an answer. I don't feel like that used to happen. I'm tired of mid-majors. I want the major-majors back.

Bruce Pearl reminded me of a high school coach that gets into the pep rallies a little too much.

Did anyone else see the Arsenal - Man. U. match on Sunday? They showed it live here in Lexington. Fuck, that was awesome. Why are we trying to bolster our own shitty league with Beckham when there is a perfectly good league to watch on cable.

I have to point out that despite all the sappy press on Barbaro this year, sound logic prevailed and Bernardini was deservedly crowned 3 year old horse of the year. Not that anyone cares.

January 23, 2007 at 6:32 PM  

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